Rambling.

I don't understand myself well. I don't know what I'm doing at times. Okay, most of the time. My feelings can come & go. Sometimes, faster than the changing of seasons. As if everything happens according to what I want. I need to stop this. This is selfish. You have your wants and I have mine.

You & her, there. I wonder what's on your mind. Reminiscing moments you both shared? Feeling insecure. But, you don't belong to me. I have no control over you, yes. I wonder if this is a hurtful choice to make. But I barely know what's on your mind and I'm afraid to ask. I'm afraid that I'm thinking too much. I wanted to do so many things. Little scenes kept playing on my mind before I go to bed. Weird. There's not much time left. Hopefully we'll have plenty of fun on Wednesday. That's all the time we I have.
I miss standing next to you.

I can't believe I told mum about everything yesterday. She reacted calmly to it. Okay maybe a little too curious that she wouldn't stop asking what happened after.

I think I gained weight. This is not supposed to happen. Or maybe I just did not loose any & eating 3 meals a day makes me feel heavy. Dang. Can you, 'thingy' work faster? :(